Mental Health Therapy Group
Mindful Oregon Clinic
Dr. Shirin Yekekar
Jul 5, 2025
Perfectionism is exhausting and unsustainable. Learn how a shift toward “excellencism” can boost mental health, success, and self-worth.
We live in a society that rewards high achievers. But somewhere along the line, “doing your best” got confused with “being flawless.” At Mindful Oregon Clinic, we often see this confusion manifest as burnout, anxiety, and deep self-doubt in our clients. But there’s a powerful alternative mindset gaining traction: excellencism.
What Is Excellencism—and Why Does It Matter?
Researchers from the University of Ottawa recently drew a clear line between perfectionism and excellencism. Perfectionism is the pursuit of impossible ideals—always needing to be better, faster, more precise. It’s often rooted in fear: fear of failure, of judgment, of not being good enough.
Excellencism, however, is about pursuing high standards that are ambitious but attainable. It’s excellence with flexibility. It values progress over perfection and prioritizes learning over flawlessness.
People who embrace excellencism report higher life satisfaction, more academic success, and lower rates of depression. Why? Because they allow themselves to be human.
The Price of Perfection
Perfectionism comes in many forms. You might set impossible goals for yourself (self-oriented), expect the same from others (other-oriented), or feel like the world expects you to never mess up (socially prescribed). All types have one thing in common: they lead to mental distress and fractured relationships.
Perfectionism can damage your social capital. Constantly seeking reassurance or obsessively rechecking work may make coworkers or loved ones feel drained. And if your standards extend to others, it may push them away entirely.
The Road to Burnout
Perfectionists often struggle with low self-compassion. When their work falls short (and inevitably it will—because perfection is unattainable), they turn inward with blame, shame, and anxiety. This can lead to workaholism, chronic stress, and eventually burnout. The result? Missed opportunities, broken relationships, and a lost sense of self.
But There’s a Way Out
Aiming for excellence is not about lowering your standards. It’s about making them realistic and flexible. Rather than fearing mistakes, learn from them. One fascinating approach—used in therapy for perfectionism—involves practicing small failures. In one study, participants were asked to make spelling mistakes on purpose. The result? Lower anxiety and improved mental health.
Give Yourself Permission to Be Human
It’s time to let go of perfection. You are not a robot. You don’t need to earn your worth through flawless execution. Instead, practice self-compassion. Celebrate progress. Learn to say, “This is good enough, and I am too.”
At its core, excellencism teaches us that we are more than our output. And that realization might be the most excellent achievement of all.
20 FAQs on Perfectionism vs. Excellence
What is excellencism?
Excellencism is the pursuit of excellence with realistic and flexible standards. It involves aiming high, but not punishing yourself if you fall short. This mindset encourages progress, self-growth, and resilience rather than self-condemnation.
What is perfectionism?
Perfectionism involves setting unrealistically high standards and feeling immense pressure to meet them without fail. It often includes harsh self-criticism and a fear of making mistakes. While it may look like ambition, it's typically driven by anxiety and self-doubt.
How does perfectionism harm mental health?
Perfectionism is linked to anxiety, depression, burnout, and low self-esteem. It can create constant stress due to fear of failure, and it can make it hard to feel satisfied or proud of your achievements.
Can perfectionism lead to burnout?
Yes. Perfectionists tend to overwork themselves trying to meet impossible expectations. Over time, this leads to emotional exhaustion, reduced productivity, and sometimes even physical health issues.
Is aiming for perfection ever healthy?
Occasionally striving for perfection in small doses can be motivating. But when it becomes a daily standard, it often leads to fear-based thinking, avoidance, and chronic dissatisfaction.
What are the signs of perfectionism?
Common signs include procrastination, fear of failure, constant self-criticism, over-checking your work, and seeking reassurance from others. You may also struggle to enjoy accomplishments.
How is excellencism better?
Excellencism fuels healthy motivation without the emotional distress. It allows you to strive and grow while staying grounded in reality and self-compassion. It celebrates effort over flawlessness.
Can perfectionism affect relationships?
Absolutely. Others may feel judged or emotionally drained around a perfectionist. It can lead to tension, communication issues, and decreased intimacy in both personal and professional relationships.
Does perfectionism correlate with procrastination?
Yes. When perfectionists fear their work won’t meet high standards, they often avoid starting it altogether. This leads to delays, stress, and feelings of inadequacy.
What causes perfectionism?
It often starts in childhood, through critical parenting, conditional love, or societal pressure to excel. Over time, people internalize these messages and equate self-worth with achievement.
Can therapy help with perfectionism?
Yes. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness, and self-compassion techniques can help individuals challenge rigid thinking and embrace imperfection.
What’s a good first step to overcome perfectionism?
Start by recognizing perfectionist thoughts and questioning their truth. Replace them with kinder, more flexible statements like "I did my best and that’s enough."
Can perfectionism be mistaken for ambition?
Yes. Ambition is about healthy drive, while perfectionism is often rooted in fear. One energizes you, the other exhausts you.
Is perfectionism linked to imposter syndrome?
Often. Perfectionists fear being exposed as “not good enough,” which overlaps with imposter syndrome—a belief that your success isn’t deserved.
Why do perfectionists need constant reassurance?
They struggle with self-validation and fear being judged. They rely on others to confirm that their work or decisions are acceptable.
Can excellence be taught?
Yes. Through therapy, mentorship, and reflection, people can shift from perfectionism to striving for realistic, healthy excellence.
Is being moralistic a perfectionist trait?
It can be. Some perfectionists apply rigid moral standards to themselves or others, which can lead to judgment and relational tension.
How does culture play into perfectionism?
Cultures that emphasize productivity, appearance, or constant achievement can intensify perfectionist traits, especially in high-achieving environments.
What is “forced failure” therapy?
It’s a CBT approach where clients intentionally make mistakes to reduce their fear of failure. Over time, they learn that imperfection isn’t catastrophic.
Can perfectionism be cured?
While it may not disappear completely, it can be managed. With awareness, support, and new habits, individuals can live with greater ease and authenticity.
Related Services at Mindful Oregon Clinic
At Mindful Oregon Clinic, we specialize in helping individuals struggling with perfectionism, anxiety, and burnout. Our licensed therapists use evidence-based techniques such as:
CBT for perfectionism
Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR)
Self-compassion coaching
Burnout recovery plans
Therapy for high achievers and professionals
We tailor each treatment plan to help you challenge unrealistic expectations, manage anxiety, and reclaim joy.
If perfectionism is running your life—or ruining your peace—it’s time to make a change. Book a free consultation with one of our experienced therapists today at Mindful Oregon Clinic. You don’t have to be perfect to start healing.